Date: 12/6/2017, Categories: Reluctance, Author: browncoffee, Source: LushStories
She was thinking of Marco again. Nike sighed. Leaning forward in her seat, she tried to engage in the buzzing restaurant table conversation but her mind kept wandering. She felt restless and exhausted all at once. She hadn’t slept properly for weeks; suffering from the kind of insomnia she’d usually get during the first few days of a vacation. But she wasn’t on vacation. Not anymore. Monaco had been almost a month ago but if she closed her eyes, it felt like she was right there, right in the middle of the glittering heat of excess. It had been Dean’s idea. Everything was always his idea, she realised, and wondered if it should anger her. It didn’t. She cast a sideways glance at him as he laughed with her brother. She felt more detached than anything. Dean was the decision maker. Ideas. Plans. Excitement. Let’s go away . Let’s take a break. Let’s throw a party . And then the most marvellous idea of them all; let’s have an open relationship . Nike agreed like she agreed with everything. She was beginning to realise she was just a very agreeable person. It didn’t seem to matter that the whole idea was one-sided; they both knew she didn’t have the personality for casual sex but it didn’t matter. The option was equal. So what if Dean exercised his a hundred times over while hers lay unutilised? It didn’t matter. Nike shifted in her seat. She listened to him tell the same story he’d told the last four times they’d been out in public. She didn’t hate him. She didn’t love him ... either. She wasn’t quite sure whether or not she even liked him anymore. He started it. He started it . It was his idea. She tried to find solace in blame and then wondered why she even felt guilty anyway. Maybe because Marco was more. More than just a one night hook-up. She’d known it from the second his voice had drifted into her ear and since then, the night had come back on relentless replay. She thought of him every day, every night, her mind constantly flickering with vivid, desperate memories. “So did you guys enjoy Monaco?” her father asked across the table. “Yeah,” Dean cut across to take the question. “The weather was great. And there’s so much to see. It’s like the ideal getaway. We spent every second together.” Except for the night you decided to fuck Julia , Nike wanted to say. But she didn’t. Sometimes she wondered what would happen if the words came out without permission. She had so many lines inside, and maybe by some terrible accident one day she’d screw up and her mouth would move before her brain could stop it. And then what? She almost liked the idea. “Nike?” Her brother eyed her. “Did you enjoy it?” She tried to look animated. “Monaco? I loved it. It was unbelievably hot.” * “She is unbelievably hot,” Dean’s voice was awestruck. “God, look at her.” Nike looked across the marble-walled hotel lobby at the object of his attention and felt her heart sink. He’d been talking about Julia all day but seeing her in the flesh made everything real. She didn’t know any of ...